


I'm Only Going Over Home

by Must_Be_Thursday



Series: Generations [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano is a good grandpadawan, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Kinda, Obi-Wan Kenobi Whump, Post-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Pre-Star Wars: A New Hope, Sick Fic, Sick Obi-Wan Kenobi, but slightly less vague, lineage feels, mental health, once a padawan always a padawan, this is kind of like that, ya know how Tolkien's elves can die from grief?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Must_Be_Thursday/pseuds/Must_Be_Thursday
Summary: Eight years after the rise of the Empire, Ben Kenobi has begun to Fade.  He doesn't know that someone is on her way to try and save him.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano
Series: Generations [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194614
Comments: 27
Kudos: 218





	1. Prologue

Subconsciously, Obi-Wan likely knew his time had grown short. He’d already packed away Anakin’s lightsaber and a series of journals he’d filled for Luke. All sealed in a Force-locked trunk. He hoped the boy would find it one day. Owen had made his feelings toward Obi-Wan well known, but the Jedi suspected that Beru would find what was left behind and keep it safe for her nephew. 

He’d fulfilled his mission protecting Luke. The boy had naturally strong shields that Obi-Wan had reinforced as best he could from a distance, so there wasn’t much of a threat of the emperor finding him. The Tuskens knew the Lars farm was off limits and the Hutts never ventured far enough from town to be a problem. He wasn’t needed anymore. 

In a different time that thought might have hurt.

Over the last several months he’d been gradually growing weaker. Eating less, sleeping more. Meditation became difficult and his strength in the Force dwindled. As a result, he hadn’t been able to contact Qui-Gon for some time. When the day came that he no longer had the strength to leave his bed, Obi-Wan finally understood that he was not in the midst of a particularly bad depressive episode. His body was beginning to shut down. Well, it wasn’t really his body’s fault. Physically, he was about as healthy as a 46 year old could be when living in the desert with the bare necessities.

His spirit was what was failing him. A few too many heartbreaks had finally caught up with him and his Force signature had begun to burn itself out. He was going to die in a hovel on Tatooine. One of the last relics of a dead culture. 

He realized too late what was happening to him. Fading was a slow, but not particularly painful way to go. It was also rare. He only knew of one other Jedi who had faded in his lifetime. An old master had lost all three of her former padawans during the first battle of Geonosis. Her spirit gave out. The healers thought she had been found in time, but her body and soul rejected all of the energy poured into her. A few days later she was gone. 

Obi-Wan was relieved his fate was finally out of his hands. He was exhausted from years of survival in the desert. His mental health had been an uphill battle since he was an initiate, and the war and genocide of his people had made things exponentially worse. But loneliness was probably what finally broke him. He’d always been a reserved person and more introverted than strangers would assume, but eight years of isolation had taken a toll. 

All of his friends and family were dead or scattered to the wind. Yoda was the only other Jedi he could be certain was still alive and they hadn’t spoken since parting ways. Bant died before the purge. He'd heard nothing of Siri or Feemor. His only grandpadawan had likely been murdered by Rex and their men, their bodies left unrecovered on a moon somewhere between Mandalore and Coruscant. Satine was murdered just to break him. Cody lost to the Empire. Padme lost in childbirth. There was Bail, but it was too risky to contact him regularly. He wasn’t allowed to be a part of Luke’s life. And Anakin…well, he made an effort not to think about him.

Obi-Wan assumed he had a few hours left before he lost consciousness, but he had no desire to prolong the inevitable. His aching soul was easily coaxed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are two of my favorite characters. I promise she'll be here soon. ❤️❤️❤️


	2. A Wayfaring Friend

Ahsoka pushed her starfighter to its limits as she flew toward the desert planet. She landed on an outcropping near Obi-Wan’s home and sprinted to the door. His presence was weak, but she would still recognize it anywhere.

She found him lying in his bed, curled up facing the wall. “Master Obi-Wan?” Ahsoka called from the doorway, not wanting to startle him. When she didn’t get a response, she crept closer and jostled his shoulder before sitting beside him and rolling him to his back.

He was cool to the touch and much too pale for someone living on Tatooine. Laying a hand on his chest she could feel his shallow breaths and a slow pulse that faltered slightly every few beats. She quickly scanned him to check for signs of an illness or injury. When her search didn’t reveal any physical ailments aside from his weak vitals, she tried to rouse him again.

“Master? Master Obi-Wan?” she asked a little louder, gently tapping his face.

Ahsoka muttered an apology and curled her hand into a fist. She rolled her knuckles over his sternum several times, pressing a little harder with each pass. When he still showed no signs of surfacing, she let her fist relax and sighed, taking a few moments to refocus.

She kept one hand on his chest to keep an eye on his breathing and reached up with her free hand to push his hair back from his brow.

“I don’t know what’s wrong, Obi-Wan,” she whispered, sliding her hand down to cup his cheek.

Ahsoka closed her eyes and reached out for his Force signature. Without meaning to, she fell right through his flimsy mental shields and found herself in his personal space within the Force. 

“I’m so sorry, Master,” she said quietly, well aware that entering someone’s mind without their permission was a severe breach of trust. 

She was about to withdraw when she noticed how dark and muted the landscape looked. He had often welcomed her in when they shared meditation in her youth, his space had always been a beautiful wash of warm, sunny colors. Now it was a cold and dull version of what it should be. Ahsoka looked around, searching for Obi-Wan’s presence.

He usually took the form of a controlled bonfire, shifting between shades of blue and gold, providing warmth and light and safety to those fortunate enough to know him. But when Ahsoka came across the place it should be, there was only a pile of ashes with a single glowing ember. 

Ahsoka fell to her knees beside it, carefully pushing aside the ashes to cup the ember. It barely gave off enough heat to warm her hands.

“Oh, Obi-Wan,” she whispered.

She hesitantly sent a spark of energy to tiny ember. It glowed a little brighter for a moment before dying down again.

For the briefest of moments, Ahsoka wondered if it would be kinder to let him go. If he was this close…. She shook her head and banished the thought from her mind. She needed to at least try to bring him back. He deserved that much, and she wouldn’t have been called to Tatooine if there wasn’t at least a chance she could help him. Besides, he would have all of eternity to rest in the Force when it was truly his time. She had a feeling it wasn’t.

Mindful not to snuff it out completely, Ahsoka cupped her hands tighter around the ember and slowly poured more strength into it. After several long moments she was rewarded with a small but steady flame. She backed off, continuing to send it energy and watched as it grew to the size of a small campfire. Nowhere near what it should be, but a vast improvement for sure.

Ahsoka pulled herself out of the odd meditation to check on Obi-Wan’s physical self. She was a little woozy when she opened her eyes, not used to that level of energy transfer. But Obi-Wan’s breaths were slightly deeper, his heartbeat stronger and more regular so she supposed it had been worth it. Ahsoka didn’t have the energy to go back to tend Obi-Wan’s Force presence again so she reached out much more carefully and brushed up against it. She couldn’t help but smile when she felt a weak but familiar nudge back.

After several moments of poking and prodding, Obi-Wan groaned. Ahsoka greeted him with a smile when he opened his eyes.

“Hello, Master Obi-Wan.”

After blinking a few times, Obi-Wan finally focused enough to meet her gaze. She was confused by the grieved look on his face when he recognized her.

“I didn’t think I would have an afterlife,” he said under his breath. He reached up with one hand to cup her face. “It is lovely to see you again though, my dear.”

Ahsoka gasped, “Oh. No, Obi-Wan, no. You’re still with the living. As am I.”

Obi-Wan looked past Ahsoka and seemed to realize for the first time that he was still in his house on Tatooine. He looked back at Ahsoka and grazed his thumb over the facial marking that graced her cheekbone, “Yes, I suppose you are older than when I last saw you,” he said with the ghost of a smile.

“You’re one to talk, old man,” Ahsoka teased, running her fingers through the white hairs that had begun to spread from his temples to pepper the rest of his locks.

Obi-Wan gave her a cheeky grin, “It’s the suns. They bleach my hair.”

“Sure they do, Master,” Ahsoka said with an amused shake of her head. She laid the back of her hand on his forehead, “You’re still a little cold. Do you have any tea stashed away here?”

“By the kettle,” Obi-Wan said with a nod as he struggled to sit up. “I’m afraid you’ll have to go collect some water. The reservoir should be full on the vaporator. I haven’t been out to check it for a while.”

“That’s alright,” Ahsoka helped him prop himself against the headboard, “I’ll be right back. Don’t…go anywhere.”

Obi-Wan gave her a sheepish look but nodded silently.

Ahsoka found some sweetener at the back of the cupboard while she waited for the water to boil. She knew Obi-Wan usually liked his tea black, but hopefully it would help perk him up until she could coax something more substantial into him. 

She shivered when his icy fingers brushed hers as she passed him the mug, “Force, you’re going to catch your death,” she muttered.

“Mmm, I think it’s passed,” Obi-Wan said around a sip of tea.

“Very funny,” Ahsoka said, slipping off her shoes. After scrounging up every blanket and cloak in the house she neatly layered them over Obi-Wan and slid onto the bed next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Obi-Wan leaned into her side, “Bless Togruta physiology.”

“You’re usually only a few degrees cooler than me. I thought Stewjoni humans were supposed to be hardier to cold temperatures.”

“I’ve been in the desert too long,” Obi-Wan replied.

“I would say so.”

Obi-Wan just hummed and continued with his tea. Ahsoka wanted to ask what he was doing hiding out in the middle of nowhere but decided it could wait. She took in his tiny home while he slowly warmed beside her. 

“Thank you for coming, Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan said as he sat his empty mug aside, “How did you know?”

Ahsoka hesitated for a moment, “I…had a vision. But it wasn’t like any other I’ve ever had. It was just a voice, it told me that I would find you on Tatooine. That you were dying and needed help.”

“It seems you’ve met your great-grandmaster,” Obi-Wan said with a warm smile.

“Master Jinn?”

Obi-Wan nodded, “He found a way to keep his consciousness after death. He didn’t know you in life so it would be harder for him to reach out to you, that’s probably why he didn’t explain. I’ve spoken with him often over the last several years. Recently though I’ve…been too weak to hear him.”

Ahsoka unconsciously tightened her hold on her grandmaster, “Obi-Wan…may I ask you something? Something personal?”

“Of course.”

“Well, as younglings we were always taught that after death, we’ll become one with the Force. _There is no death, there is the Force_ ,” Obi-Wan nodded and Ahsoka continued, now encouraged, “When you woke up, you thought you had passed, but you said you didn’t expect an afterlife. I know things have changed a lot, and I would certainly never judge your beliefs but…you always seemed so faithful.”

Obi-Wan took a moment to gather his thoughts, “I still consider myself a Jedi,” he began, “I think we were wrong about a lot of things but…I can’t imagine a different life. But to answer your question, I wasn’t just dying. My soul or presence, whatever you would like to call it, it was burning itself out. I don’t think there would have been anything left to become one with the Force, and I certainly wouldn’t have been able to maintain my individuality as Qui-Gon has. We can’t know for sure what happens to someone when they Fade as I nearly did, but I think I would have just…ceased to exist.”

Ahsoka blinked back tears, having not realized how close she had come to losing Obi-Wan for good. She wrapped her other arm around him and pulled him in to embrace him properly.

“I – I can’t imagine a universe where you don’t exist in some form, Obi-Wan,” she sniffled through her tears, “I’m sorry I didn’t search for you. I thought you were already gone, like everyone else, but if I didn’t know for sure I could just hope you had escaped.”

Obi-Wan swallowed and Ahsoka could hear the slightest break in his voice, “I’m sorry as well. When I learned that your ship had gone down on that moon…”

Ahsoka’s heart ached at the memory of burying Rex’s brothers. She took a deep breath to try and steady her voice, “Yes, that’s a rather long story, Master.”

“Later. I have a lot to tell you as well.”

Ahsoka sighed and rested her head on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. When they were out of tears, they finally pulled apart, both feeling drained but lighter than they had in years. Ahsoka looked Obi-Wan over and noticed the exhaustion rolling off him.

“I think it’s safe for you to sleep now, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan nodded but made no move to lay down.

“I’m not going to leave you,” she said, answering the question he didn’t ask.

She felt a rush of love and gratitude through the Force. Much stronger than it should have been, as though it was concentrated through a smaller area. She focused on the specific place she was receiving it at and gasped at a sensation she hadn’t felt in so long. A new bond had formed where her old training bond with Obi-Wan had once been. 

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan said, “We can dismantle it if you want. I didn’t form it consciously. Being entuned to the Unifying Force makes me more susceptible to –.” 

“Don’t apologize,” he was cut off by Ahsoka wrapping him in another hug, “I never thought I would see you again. To carry a piece of you in my mind?” she pulled back to look him in the eye, “That’s more than I ever dared to hope.”

Obi-Wan leaned into the new bond, strengthening it, “Jedi were never meant to be alone,” he whispered. A moment later he caught himself, “Oh, I’m so sorry, Ahsoka.”

“I think we’ve apologized enough for one day, Master,” she said gently.

“I should have fought harder for you. The council shouldn’t have even allowed that trial.”

“Obi-Wan,” Ahsoka said, cupping his face in her hands, “You were just one member of the council, I know you did everything you could. It was my choice to leave, and I don’t blame you. I was planning on asking to come back after I returned from Mandalore. I think you understand better than most what that is like, am I right?”

“Yes.” It seemed like a lifetime ago that he had handed over his lightsaber to Qui-Gon on Melida/Daan. “Thank you, Ahsoka,” he said with a sigh.

Ahsoka released her hold on Obi-Wan and stood, “I’m going to get a few things from my fighter, but I’ll be right back, okay?”

Obi-Wan nodded as he laid himself back down.

Ahsoka was shivering when she returned and spread her bed roll out on the floor.

“It gets cold here at night,” Obi-Wan said shifting to make room beside him and gesturing at the open space.

“Are you sure?” Ahsoka asked.

“Honestly, I could use the extra body heat,” Obi-Wan said with a self-conscious chuckle, “But I don’t want you to be uncomfortable either way.”

Ahsoka slipped in beside him and tossed her blanket over them both. She shuffled a little closer, “Can I…” she asked.

Obi-Wan smiled and wrapped an arm around her. She burrowed herself against his chest and breathed deeply, surprised to notice that beneath the dry, dusty scent that permeated everything on Tatooine…he still smelled like home.

“Goodnight, Master Obi-Wan.”

His chest rumbled against her montrals, “Goodnight, Padawan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading❤️❤️❤️


End file.
